Obama Wins The 2008 Election

Barack Hussein Obama is now the 44th President of the United States. The 2008 election is FINALLY over. I'm more relieved about that than anything else at this point. This was one of the nastiest campaigns I have ever seen on both sides. Huge amounts of mudslinging, racism, feminism/anti-feminism, and overall manipulation were all over the media. Supporters of the candidates have been found faking voter registration, stealing campaign signs from yards, and attempting to scare away voters at the polls.

I have never seen so many people get upset over an election. I have never seen friends turn so savagely and viciously against friends on opposing parties. I have never seen so much manipulation and lies as the backbone of a campaign. But the election is now over. God help America. Regardless what party you support, all can agree that our great nation has suffered and slipped down to a new low. This could well mark the beginning of the descent of America from the great nation it is today to a fond memory of past glory. Now all we can do is adapt to the great change that has been promised, and pray it will be a good change.

Officer Expects House Cat, But Finds Mountain Lion

Police officer Mike Ableman was called in to remove a problem cat from a home in Casper, Wyoming. The dispatcher told him he was supposed to shoo off a big house cat. When he arrived at the scene, he was hissed at by a 90 pound mountain lion. He immediately ran back into the house and called the Game and Fish department. Wildlife officers then arrived to tranquilize and remove the cat.

I bet the officer was expecting a boringly easy job, and probably feeling a little down for having to do such a menial task. Instead he ended up in the world news. Life is like that sometimes.

Stock Market Crash

The stock market hit a record low today, plummeting over 680 points in a single day. It has fallen by around 5,000 points over the course of the year. We are not currently showing signs of recovery, and the market could continue to plummet. Some experts are calling this a slow crash, and expect stocks to crash completely. Many are also looking at this as a great opportunity. There are large numbers of solid businesses with very cheap stock right now, and new investors could easily turn huge profits if the stock market goes back up. We will have to wait and see how things continue to develop. America could either make a solid comeback or sink into a full scale depression.

World's Fattest Man Gets Married

Manuel Uribe was once declared the world's fattest man. The 42 year old man from Monterrey, Mexico once weighed in at 1,230 pounds. He has gone on a diet and lost over 550 pounds. He will be towed in a specially made bed through the streets to have the wedding. Manuel said he will have a bite of cake for the photos, but that is all his new diet will permit. After losing all that weight, it is yet to be determined whether he will be allowed to remain the world's heaviest man.

Well, at least we know she's not marrying him for his body... or is she?

Man Caught With Nearly 2 Million Dollars in Traffic Fines

In other news, a man in San Paulo, Brazil was finally caught after racking up a huge array of traffic fines. Authorities traced his charges back to 2001 when he bought his car. In just 7 years, he has managed to get around 1.9 million dollars in traffic fines. The man claims he never received any of these tickets because he was too busy to register the car in his name.

I personally believe this story. How would he have any time to register his car when he's too busy out getting speeding tickets? This man definitely deserves the worldwide recognition he's receiving. This is a huge accomplishment. And thankfully it is now safe to drive in Brazil again.

Chinese Milk Poisons Thousands of Children

Now for more disturbing news. Melamine, an industrial chemical, was found to be contaminating milk and baby formula in China. This chemical is toxic and can cause kidney stones when consumed. It has already killed 4 infants and made over 6,200 sick. The milk was recalled and removed from shelves. Now thousands of worried parents are swarming outside child clinics awaiting checkups.

China is already known for its poor quality manufacturing and lax product testing but this goes too far. What worries me even more about the whole thing is that China exports huge quantities of food and material products to other countries. If we don't get some quality control at work, no one is really safe.