Woman Wearing Cow Suit Arrested for Disorderly Conduct

Michelle Allen of Middletown, Ohio, was arrested for disorderly conduct while wearing a cow suit. She was said to have been chasing children in her neighborhood while wearing the cow suit, and caused a great deal of civil distress. She was also caught urinating on a neighbor's front porch. When an officer found her causing traffic problems, she was arrested. She was reportedly verbally abusive to the police, and smelled strongly of alcohol.

Obviously her clever cow disguise failed when she began cussing out the police. A real cow would never do that.

9 Year Old Designated Driver

On Thursday, a 9 year old child was pulled over for driving a car underage. The mother, from Ontario, had too much to drink at a social gathering and did not feel sober enough to drive herself and her child home. So she asked her nine year old daughter to drive instead. Police noticed a car driving very slowly along Canadian country roads, and on closer inspection, saw that the driver was quite tiny. When they pulled her over, they found the child driving.

Obviously the mother must have been pretty far gone to let her kid drive. She must have been really wasted to think the kid would do a better job than she would. I'm always a supporter of the designated driver program, but this is a bit over the top.

Woman Knocked Out by Dolphin

Barbara Howard was enjoying a boat ride with her husband, daughter, and daughter's boyfriend when a dolphin suddenly jumped out of the water and landed on their boat. The 8-9 foot long marine mammal had apparently tried to jump over the boat and misjudged the distance. It knocked Barbara unconscious and pinned her and her husband to the deck of the boat. As it floundered around, its tail repeatedly beat her husband.

Her daughter's boyfriend mustered up more strength than he knew he had and pushed the 4-500 pound dolphin off the boat and back into the water. The couple had some minor cuts and bruises but were released from the hospital relatively unharmed.

I'm sure this must have been especially embarrassing for the dolphin. They are supposed to be some of the most intelligent creatures on earth, but even they make mistakes from time to time.

Bank Robbed Twice in One Day

A San Diego-area Wells Fargo bank in La Mesa, California, was robbed twice in one day. First, a robber referred to as "The Hard Hat Bandit" came in and demanded the bank hand over its money. No more than three hours later, "The Chatty Bandit" arrived on the scene and tried to rob it again.

Both criminals are still at large and their location is unknown. What we do know is that one of them must be pretty ticked off at being beaten to the punch.

Fish Pedicures Banned in Texas

One of the newest trends in beauty treatment is the fish pedicure. Patrons to some of the few salons offering this luxurious treatment can soak their feet in tanks of water while the aptly named Doctor Fish nibble away tiny bits of dead skin. This new trend was starting to pick up steam until Texas authorities shut it down due to health concerns.

The Texas health department explained that the fish could transmit disease through contact with human feet. Their tanks were also impossible to safely sterilize without harming the fish. While there have been no reports of any form of problems related to these fish, authorities say they would rather be safe than sorry.

I think a nice fish pedicure would be a great way to clean up your feet. Unfortunately for those of you living in Texas, there will be no more fish pedicures... unless you can lure in some fish in a local pond. Or you could always just stick your feet in your fish tank.

Officer Expects House Cat, But Finds Mountain Lion

Police officer Mike Ableman was called in to remove a problem cat from a home in Casper, Wyoming. The dispatcher told him he was supposed to shoo off a big house cat. When he arrived at the scene, he was hissed at by a 90 pound mountain lion. He immediately ran back into the house and called the Game and Fish department. Wildlife officers then arrived to tranquilize and remove the cat.

I bet the officer was expecting a boringly easy job, and probably feeling a little down for having to do such a menial task. Instead he ended up in the world news. Life is like that sometimes.

Interview With Man Who Punched Shark to Save His Dog

Those of you who have kept up with my blog have probably read about the Florida man who punched a shark to save his dog. It's always so much better to hear the story straight from the mouth of the source. Here's the CBS video interview of this amazing story.



And for those of you who feel bad for the poor dog getting attacked, here's a video of a dog attacking a shark. It kind of levels the playing field. The owners of this dog seem more negligent than heroic. But he seems to be fending for himself pretty well.

Stock Market Crash

The stock market hit a record low today, plummeting over 680 points in a single day. It has fallen by around 5,000 points over the course of the year. We are not currently showing signs of recovery, and the market could continue to plummet. Some experts are calling this a slow crash, and expect stocks to crash completely. Many are also looking at this as a great opportunity. There are large numbers of solid businesses with very cheap stock right now, and new investors could easily turn huge profits if the stock market goes back up. We will have to wait and see how things continue to develop. America could either make a solid comeback or sink into a full scale depression.

World's Fattest Man Gets Married

Manuel Uribe was once declared the world's fattest man. The 42 year old man from Monterrey, Mexico once weighed in at 1,230 pounds. He has gone on a diet and lost over 550 pounds. He will be towed in a specially made bed through the streets to have the wedding. Manuel said he will have a bite of cake for the photos, but that is all his new diet will permit. After losing all that weight, it is yet to be determined whether he will be allowed to remain the world's heaviest man.

Well, at least we know she's not marrying him for his body... or is she?

Man Punches Shark to Save His Dog

Greg LeNoir was taking his dog, Jake, for a swim one day at a marina in Isla Morada, Florida. A 5-foot shark surfaced suddenly and grabbed the dog in its mouth. Greg wasn't about to let his pal become chum, so he dove off the pier headfirst and punched the shark in the back. He apparently scared the shark enough to make it let go, and he and the dog swam safely back to shore. The little rat-terrier was wounded but not critically injured. He was rushed to an animal hospital where he is making a full recovery.

I have to admit, this is one of my favorite stories of bravery/stupidity I have heard in a long time... and I write about incredible news stories all the time. I'll admit, I would probably do the same thing in the heat of the moment. I love my dog too. But afterwards, the only thing I would be able to think would be, WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Man Caught With Nearly 2 Million Dollars in Traffic Fines

In other news, a man in San Paulo, Brazil was finally caught after racking up a huge array of traffic fines. Authorities traced his charges back to 2001 when he bought his car. In just 7 years, he has managed to get around 1.9 million dollars in traffic fines. The man claims he never received any of these tickets because he was too busy to register the car in his name.

I personally believe this story. How would he have any time to register his car when he's too busy out getting speeding tickets? This man definitely deserves the worldwide recognition he's receiving. This is a huge accomplishment. And thankfully it is now safe to drive in Brazil again.

Chinese Milk Poisons Thousands of Children

Now for more disturbing news. Melamine, an industrial chemical, was found to be contaminating milk and baby formula in China. This chemical is toxic and can cause kidney stones when consumed. It has already killed 4 infants and made over 6,200 sick. The milk was recalled and removed from shelves. Now thousands of worried parents are swarming outside child clinics awaiting checkups.

China is already known for its poor quality manufacturing and lax product testing but this goes too far. What worries me even more about the whole thing is that China exports huge quantities of food and material products to other countries. If we don't get some quality control at work, no one is really safe.