Woman Wearing Cow Suit Arrested for Disorderly Conduct

Michelle Allen of Middletown, Ohio, was arrested for disorderly conduct while wearing a cow suit. She was said to have been chasing children in her neighborhood while wearing the cow suit, and caused a great deal of civil distress. She was also caught urinating on a neighbor's front porch. When an officer found her causing traffic problems, she was arrested. She was reportedly verbally abusive to the police, and smelled strongly of alcohol.

Obviously her clever cow disguise failed when she began cussing out the police. A real cow would never do that.

9 Year Old Designated Driver

On Thursday, a 9 year old child was pulled over for driving a car underage. The mother, from Ontario, had too much to drink at a social gathering and did not feel sober enough to drive herself and her child home. So she asked her nine year old daughter to drive instead. Police noticed a car driving very slowly along Canadian country roads, and on closer inspection, saw that the driver was quite tiny. When they pulled her over, they found the child driving.

Obviously the mother must have been pretty far gone to let her kid drive. She must have been really wasted to think the kid would do a better job than she would. I'm always a supporter of the designated driver program, but this is a bit over the top.

Woman Knocked Out by Dolphin

Barbara Howard was enjoying a boat ride with her husband, daughter, and daughter's boyfriend when a dolphin suddenly jumped out of the water and landed on their boat. The 8-9 foot long marine mammal had apparently tried to jump over the boat and misjudged the distance. It knocked Barbara unconscious and pinned her and her husband to the deck of the boat. As it floundered around, its tail repeatedly beat her husband.

Her daughter's boyfriend mustered up more strength than he knew he had and pushed the 4-500 pound dolphin off the boat and back into the water. The couple had some minor cuts and bruises but were released from the hospital relatively unharmed.

I'm sure this must have been especially embarrassing for the dolphin. They are supposed to be some of the most intelligent creatures on earth, but even they make mistakes from time to time.

Bank Robbed Twice in One Day

A San Diego-area Wells Fargo bank in La Mesa, California, was robbed twice in one day. First, a robber referred to as "The Hard Hat Bandit" came in and demanded the bank hand over its money. No more than three hours later, "The Chatty Bandit" arrived on the scene and tried to rob it again.

Both criminals are still at large and their location is unknown. What we do know is that one of them must be pretty ticked off at being beaten to the punch.

Fish Pedicures Banned in Texas

One of the newest trends in beauty treatment is the fish pedicure. Patrons to some of the few salons offering this luxurious treatment can soak their feet in tanks of water while the aptly named Doctor Fish nibble away tiny bits of dead skin. This new trend was starting to pick up steam until Texas authorities shut it down due to health concerns.

The Texas health department explained that the fish could transmit disease through contact with human feet. Their tanks were also impossible to safely sterilize without harming the fish. While there have been no reports of any form of problems related to these fish, authorities say they would rather be safe than sorry.

I think a nice fish pedicure would be a great way to clean up your feet. Unfortunately for those of you living in Texas, there will be no more fish pedicures... unless you can lure in some fish in a local pond. Or you could always just stick your feet in your fish tank.